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Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Really I was going to do it....... but

New Years Resolutions, complete with excuses of why I won't accomplish them so I do not have to do a post at a later date telling you what a failure I am!

Number 1: I promise myself I will not take things personal. If someone does not like me, that is their fault. If they don't agree with me, I will not worry about it.

Until...... said person deletes me from facebook, then I may walk around my house pouting about it for a couple days until I decide to permanently block them so they can never request me as a friend again. ;) Hows that for not taking it personal.



Number 2: Look like the skinny bitches I see on the infomercials every Saturday who lost 20 pounds just sitting there with this electric belt thingy around their waist. Until I order electric belt thingy to lose weight not doing a single thing and cannot get off my couch because my lazy butt gained the 20 pounds I wanted to lose eating a whole bowl of 7-layer bean dip to myself for the 5th consecutive day and wonder why I look the way I do.


Number 3: Get down on the floor and play with my kids. Really play for at least 2 hours a day.

Just as soon as I clean the bathrooms, vacuum the floors. Wash, dry, fold, and put away laundry. Vacuum the floors again because a whole box a cereal just got spilled all over the carpet. Change 3 poopy diapers, 5 wet ones, try to get the kid to poop in the toilet, clean the bathroom floor again because said kid fell in and splashed yucky toilet water all over the floor. Dust up and down stairs, pick up the kids toys for the 3rd time, stick my finger up my child's nose to retrieve a Lego, and take a shower just in time to put the kids to bed. Then sit down to watch Teen Mom 2 thnking how put together I am compared to these girls!!



Number 4: Watch my potty mouth.

Until.....


I'm pretty sure this one explains itself. And swearing in this instance, driving next to retarded people, is pretty much acceptable.

Happy New Years people.... Happy New Years. May you all flub up your New Years Resolutions as well!

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